Today in Gossip--so you think you live in a small town now?

From the Warrensburg Standard Dec.3, 1885... 125 years ago...Headline "The Invisible Telephone"
"Hello, STANDARD office?"
"Hello Little Bird."
"I'm on the wing nowadays and having lots of fun.  Want a good item?"
"Yes."
"Well it's a good one, but if the parties find out I told you, they'll clip my wings, sure."
"Go ahead, we'll protect you"
"It's on a young music teacher here in town, and a young lady student.  The y.l.s. is a stranger in town and has never seen the inside of the opera house.  The y.m.t. agreed that he would take her to see the next show that came along, and let her see the hall at the same time."
"He took her to hear the Bridges twins, did he?"
"Well hardly.  The little darlings were here Friday night, and the music man arranged with another young lady to take her and the Normal girl to church.  The other lady, for fun, you know, persuaded the Normal lady to pretend to think they were going to the concert, and she arrayed herself in all the finery of opera toilet-- white kids, opera shoes, opera dress and all.  When the young man showed up she thanked him for his kindness, as she could thus see the opera house and hear the concert.  Killing, wasn't it?"
"Yes, what did he do?"
"Fell over dead.  He told the girl he hadn't a cent of money with him, and had come to take her to church only.  She retorted by saying she wouldn't go with him, even if salvation was free.  And then I left as they pulled down the curtain on the last act.  Good-bye."